Sunday 7 December 2014

Ten Books

A (not so) recent trend that did the rounds on Facebook was the "ten books that stayed with me" list. People nominated others (for reasons beyond my comprehension) after having listed what essentially amounts to their ten favourite books, to list their ten favourite books.

Well, I apparently didn't have enough friends to be nominated for this thing, but sod it I'm doing it anyway. So here we go, late to the party as ever; ten books that have stayed with me and/or affected me. In no particular order.

Potential spoilers ahead, just so you know.

Ender's Game by Orson Scott Card [link]
This is now a film which stars Ben Kingsley and Harrison Ford, and as with most adaptations, it's not really comparable to the book. That said, it does an admirable job.
Ender's Game is a science fiction story for children, and is the story of Andrew "Ender" Wiggin as he is in Battle School for the war against an alien race known in the film as the Formics, and in the book as the Buggers. As it transpires, the author is a mildly homophobic Mormon. That being said, the book remains one of my favourites, ever since I read it in year 7. Despite being an extremely clever, extremely capable soldier, Ender is a very likeable character.
One part of this book has stayed with me without me even realising until I reread it earlier in the year. An early scene in the book involves Ender being bullied at school, and in trying to ignore it he begins to count doubles in his head; 2, 4, 8, 16, 32, and so on. I don't know how long I've been doing this for, but when I'm trying to distract myself, this is my go to method. Naturally, I can't get anywhere near the 4,194,304 Ender reaches, but it still works.


How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie [link]
The only non-fiction book featured in this list, and the only one which I am still actually reading (does that make its entry a bit of a cop out?). The book can in truth be boiled down to about thirty bullet points, but Carnegie has a wonderful collection of anecdotes with which he uses to illustrate these points. The advice given in the book so far has been thoroughly interesting, ranging from how to write a good cover letter, all the way to how to (surprisingly) come across as more interesting when meeting new people.
Even if you don't need the advice in this book (and I know many that don't), it's actually a really good read. As I said, the collection of anecdotes is very enjoyable. There are tales of US presidents, acquaintances of the author, and prolific businessmen... I've yet to be bored by this book, though it's taking me a while to get through it.


His Dark Materials by Philip Pullman [link]
Wow. Is this really a children's story? I'm fairly sure that if I'd read this as a child, I would not be capable of love as an adult. It's absolutely brutal. And also delightfully written, wonderfully imagined, and spectacularly epic. The idea of Dæmons is wonderfully interesting, and I spent a remarkable amount of time putting a lot of thoughts into my answers on this quiz to find out what animal my Dæmon would actually be. As it stands, I can't actually remember any more, so I'll have to take it again.
What I do remember is that this book is absolutely amazing, and the themes are at times exceedingly dark. Pullman is clearly not very fond of the Catholic church, and is at times not even subtle about his criticisms. All that in mind though, His Dark Materials is one of the most unforgettable stories I shall ever have the privilege to read.


The Hobbit by J.R.R. Tolkien [link]
And to a lesser extent, The Lord of the Rings.
I remember for a long while I would see this cover in book shops and be mildly curious as to what the book was about. I'd read a passage from The Hobbit in school, and wasn't actually wowed by it at the time. However, long before The Lord of the Rings hit the cinemas, I bought the book with a view to persevering. Needless to say, perseverance wasn't necessary. I fell in love with this book from the very first chapter, and managed to read it in its entirety on the round trip to The Forbidden Corner with my family. For the few of you who haven't read the book, it is the tale of Bilbo Baggins as he goes on a journey with the wizard Gandalf and twelve dwarfs to steal gold from the dragon Smaug. Need I say more? It's a fantastic fish out of water story that delighted me as a child and delights me still as an adult. Who doesn't get chills when they read and/or hear the words "In a hole in the ground, there lived a hobbit."


Cloud Atlas by David Mitchell [link]
No, not that David Mitchell.
I confess that I actually saw the film before I even knew this was a book. And I loved the film; the soundtrack alone was enough to grip me. That said, like so many films, the book is far superior.
Six stories within stories, all set in different periods of history and the future. To describe it to sort of belittle it, the way it's written is just phenomenal, and sort of beggars description. Safe to say though, it's a cracker. The way the stories link together is ingenious, and each one is so different and yet so similar. I was mildly disappointed to discover that the author for not write them in the order in which they are presented, but instead just used copy and paste after having written each part individually. 
Tales of composition in Belgium, revolution in futuristic Seoul, a conspiracy in the sixties, and science in a dystopian Hawaii... It's a fantastic novel that defies genre and is genuinely a pleasure to read. 


I Am Legend by Richard Matheson [link]
Yet another book on this list which has been turned into a film. However the book is so different from the film that it doesn't really count.
Similar to Jurassic Park (further down) there's a great deal of science in this book, as Robert Neville attempts to find a cure for the vampiric pandemic that has eradicated most of the human population. This book has a wonderful mix of science and myth, as the mystery of the zombie/vampire plague is unravelled. Terrifying in places, and heart-rending in others, this book will have you on edge. The ending of the book gives the title a lot more sense than it initially appears to do, and is a satisfying end to the story.

Artemis Fowl by Eoin Colfer [link]
Artemis Fowl is an eight book series, but it is the first one which stayed with me.
The young, Irish anti-hero Artemis is a child genius, determined to con the subterranean fairy people out of their gold. In what is billed as "Die Hard with fairies" I fell in love with Colfer's writing style (so very like that of Douglas Adams), and all of his characters. I took some sort of savage pleasure at school when people would see me reading it, ask what it was about, and saying "fairies." I devoured this book in a single car journey on the way to France, unable to put it down. Trolls, dwarfs, highly trained elvish commandos; the siege of a manor house; a single, deadly manservant; time stops... This book has everything that the eight-year-old me could have wanted.
If anybody ever asks me what book I would like to see turned into a film, it is always this one.


Jurassic Park by Michael Crichton [link]
Dinosaurs. Graphs. Science... So much science. This book, similar to I Am Legend, pulls very few punches in terms of throwing science at the reader. And I love it.
You know this one already too; dinosaurs are brought back to life for an amusement park. The pacing of the book is incredible, and each of the characters is exciting and compelling. After having come from the film to this book, I was shocked to see that Hammond (whom Attenborough portrayed wonderfully as a genial old grandfather) is actually a complete arse. The book has a tendency to get a little preachy nearer the end in terms of greed, progress, and discipline. The thing that really stayed with me is the concept that a karate master has learned the ability to kill a man with a single strike, but has also learned the discipline to not use deadly force in the process. Jurassic Park is about men using science that they don't understand and haven't earned the discipline to use. And it's fabulous.
Oh, and the dinosaurs are terrifying as well.


Battle Royale by Kōshun Takami [link]
The Hunger Games ain't got nothing on this badboy.
In the near future, Japan collapses into turmoil, and one of the ways the totalitarian government keeps control is to select a random middle school class of students, send them to an abandoned island, and force them to fight each other to the death. Violent, poignant, funny in places, scary in others. Takami throws emotions at you from all sides and just as quickly pulls them out from under your feet. The point of view of the book is constantly shifting, to the point where you even feel sympathy for the "evil" students who are doing the most killing. A masterpiece of writing, equally as fun in translation as it is in the original Japanese.
There is a film of this book, directed by the legendary Kinji Fukasaku, and although Quentin Tarantino himself has stated that he wishes he had had the idea for this film, it does the book surprisingly little justice. Check it out, I implore you!


So there you have it. Ten books that I will never forget, for one reason or another. You may now continue with your day.

Thursday 25 September 2014

I'm sorry, I'm English

I write this* on the return journey from my family's holiday in The Netherlands, which has been wonderful; silliness aplenty, boundless relaxing, and no small bit of drinking.
*and post it the day after my return... Poops and giggles, y'all.

And I come away feeling a little bit awful for being from Britain. Not because we were rowdy (though we truly were), or because we didn't appreciate Holland for all its beauty (we did), but because I don't speak a single word of Dutch... Not a syllable.

The vast majority of holidays I've been fortunate enough to embark upon have been to France, a country where I can get by with my GCSE-level, rough approximation of the French language. Whilst many of the French do resort to English once my telltale accent massacres their poetic tongue, I still feel that they appreciate the effort. It's an enormous help to be able to say please, thank you, and ask for directions to the nearest pharmacist so that I may procure a cream for my sunburn ("la soleil, la mer, je suis mal a la jambons").
Add onto that the fact that I lived in  Tokyo for a year with the sole aim of attaining fluency in Japanese. Whilst far from perfect, I could make myself understood there well enough that I rarely had to eat something that I didn't intend to order, and only got lost a few dozen times.

The point is, this is the first time in a very long time (barring a drunken weekend in Prague) that I've been in a country where the language is completely and totally alien to me. Asking for a bus ticket led me to use some bastardised German to attempt to convey where I wanted to go, and bars or restaurants have seen me give up the ghost completely and just point at what I think I want. On more than one occasion, I've had Dutch people come up and ask me something, only for me to respond with "I'm sorry, I don't speak Dutch" which doesn't quite seem to cut it. Perhaps the whole of Europe has collectively realised that the English as a people have a tendency to be lazy when it comes to foreign languages, and it seems barmy to them that anybody but the English would attempt to enter their beautiful (I can't stress that enough) country, without first learning a bit of the Netherlands-speak.

To compound matters, it seems that a large number of Dutch people speak incredible (and delightfully accented) English. Bafflingly, it doesn't bother me all that much when French people speak English to me... I imagine this is because at least in France, I've opened with French, even if I revert to English down the line. All in all though, I've come away from Holland a peculiar mixture of extremely relaxed, and mildly embarrassed. 
The simple solution, of course, would be to learn a few phrases before heading into foreign climes, but some how this holiday crept up on me in terms of preparation. As it is, in terms of blending in, I royally buggered this one up.

Next time I'll do a bit more prep to avoid being lumped in with those Brits that say "they all speak English anyway, so what's the point?", and then having to say that hideously shameful phrase; "I'm sorry, I'm English."